please be mine
by necking
Summary: The first time she saw her, she wanted to die. day 2 of trimberly week: angst


The first time she saw her, she wanted to die.

Her, being Kimberly Hart, Trini's very _straight_ best friend.

It was September, and school had just started. Trini sat at the back of the bio room, trying to keep a low profile when Kim walked in. It was clear to Trini that she'd be marked as _out of her league_ , or _unattainable_ , so she'd had the pink ranger marked down as someone safe to pine over.

And then Kim had to somehow fall from grace, effectively bringing her closer down to Trini's league, and if she was still too high up, Billy Cranston had a quick fix for that and _blew_ _up_ a fucking _mountain_.

Suddenly, they were some sort of superhero team, and Kim had somehow winded up being her new best friend.

She felt sickened by the thought, by the cliché of it all. The nasty lesbian unable to keep it to herself, fell for her straight best friend.

A dull pain shot through her chest, feeling a lot less like butterflies and more like the time her cross country coach made her run until she passed out. She remembered that, feeling like she'd done something wrong and deserved to run until her knees gave in and her heart punched through her rib cage. And then blacking out, only to wake up to Jason's Scott's worried face, begging for her to wake up, her chest feeling broken and bruised, and legs unusable from the overexertion. That's how Kimberly Hart made Trini feel, when she so much as walked into a room. Would that be a romantic thing to say, or would it just be weirdly poetic and creepy? _Hey, Kim, I know we're friends and all, but you make my knees fail and my heart feel like I ran twenty three laps around the school track with no water in thirty degree weather until I passed out._ Probably not the best line. She'd work on it later.

"Trini? Hey, T," a familiar voice said, snapping her back to reality. "Babe, the bell just rang."

"Right, yeah, I know," Trini said, shaking her head. She still felt slightly dazed, but reached for her bag under her seat, not having packed yet.

If Kim noticed something was off about Trini, then she must've shrugged it off quickly, since she grabbed the books off Trini's desk quickly and carried them for her instead, too impatient to wait. They shared a locker, anyway.

"So, are you still coming down to the mall to help me shop for an outfit tomorrow night?" Kim asked, readjusting her grip on the books.

 _No_ , she wanted to say. She'd never so desperately not wanted to do something in her life, and that included fighting putties. Helping the girl she had a hopeless crush on find an outfit for the guy said girl had a crush on? _Hell_ _no_ , would've been a better answer.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," she said instead, forcing a tight smile onto her face, if only it meant Kim would smile at her again.

"Great, I'll drive," Kim said excitedly, her eyes bright.

Trini, exhausted, watched her run ahead into the school parking lot.

It wasn't until seven stores and three new outfits later than Trini started to grow a _teeny_ bit frustrated. She'd been blindly following Kim around the mall, muttering out quick _yes's_ and _no's_ to various items of clothing Kim tried on, as well as carrying around all her bags since Kim would ask her to hold them every time they entered a new store so she had both hands to browse properly. It felt an awful lot like _boyfriend_ _duty_.

"T?" Kim called out from behind a dressing stall.

"Yeah?"

Kim's head poked out from behind the door. "Can you zip me up?"

Trini got up and made her way towards Kim, answering her question wordlessly. She stepped into the stall quickly, hoping to just zip Kim up quickly and be done with it already, but even as Trini averted her eyes and zipped her up in record time, Kim kept her hostage in the tight space.

"Stay," Kim said, stopping Trini from pushing the door open. "I've got a few more zip ups that I wanna try on, and it'd just be easier if you stayed in here. I'm sure my bags outside will be fine."

"Okay," she replied, thankful that her voice remained steady.

Kim nodded, before staring back at her reflection in the mirror. "Do you think this is a good idea?"

Trini stared at the deep red pantsuit ensemble. It looked rather elegant, and seemed as though it should only be saved for a more formal event. "I mean, it depends on where he's taking you. Knowing Jason, he'd probably try wearing a flannel to a formal event just because it has a collar."

"That's not what I meant," Kim laughed, meeting Trini's eye in the mirror briefly. "I meant… do you think it's a good idea for me to go out with Jason?"

This was it. Her way out, her way to _speak_ _now_ , so to say. She could spill all her feelings out, say _no, this is a terrible idea because I'm feeling irrationally jealous over this, because I'm probably head over heels in love with you, but I'm a girl and you're_ you _so none of this could ever work out anyway._ She cringed at that. _In_ _love_? It seemed like such a childish word to use, yet also much too mature to be the right word to use.

"I mean, if you're sure about your feelings for him, then there shouldn't be any issues," Trini said instead, the words tasting bitter in her mouth.

Kim's face lit up at that, and Trini tried to push down the feeling of bile rising up in her throat after the surge of jealousy rushed forward when she realized the reaction was for _Jason_ , not her.

"Yeah, you're right," Kim agreed, easily, turning her back towards Trini so she could be unzipped. "You know what? I think we're done shopping for today. The black off the shoulder top and nude skirt should be fine for tomorrow."

Trini blinked back the prickling in her eyes, trying to seem supportive. "Yeah, _perfect_."

"So how was your preview of hell today?"

Trini took a long drink of the bottle of whiskey they shared as an answer.

"That bad, huh?"

"You know it, Z," Trini slurred.

They were sitting on the edge of the cliffside, staring down at the water that hid their base. Trini texted Zack right after Kim dropped her home with a beer emoji and question mark, to which he replied with _you know where to find me._

It was almost a routine- meeting up every Friday to get drunk off their asses, only to regret it in the morning when they showed up to detention hungover and angry, helpless to do anything to water it down.

Trini loved Zack, he was like her brother, but she couldn't help but feel bitter when she couldn't love him in the way that boys and girls were meant to. But that was also how they bonded- Trini had Kim to pine over, and Zack had Jason.

It would've been so easy to just fall in love with Zack, and he with Trini, but life wasn't meant to be like that. So they just continued drinking, secretly hoping the alcohol would ruin their systems before their heartache could.

She spent the better half of her Saturday sleeping.

Kim's date was at seven, and Trini really hoped she would fall into a coma or something during it, so she wouldn't have to suffer through it in real time.

Unfortunately for her, she was never that lucky.

Her text tone went off, and she groggily rolled over to check what it said.

 **Kimothy Hart (4:46pm):** scale of 1-10 how slutty is it to hu w someone on the first date? asking for a friend

Trini knew it was a joke, and that Kim probably (hopefully?) didn't text that with any intent in it, but her patience had run out, and her jealousy won over. The phone disintegrated in her hands and she was too tired to properly mourn over the loss of the device.

She changed quickly into her workout clothes, deciding to spend her time at the mines.

She was still moping when a slim dark figure climbed its (her?) way into her room at, she looked at the clock, _2:28am_.

"You didn't reply to my texts so I decided to just show up anyway," Kim said, once she landed on Trini's floors, dusting imaginary dust off her thighs. "I need a favour- but why didn't you reply?"

"Broke my phone," Trini muttered, still shocked to see Kim in her room, after spending the whole day (unreasonably) angry at her.

"Oh. Well, I need a favour, if that's okay?" She asked, not bothering to find out how or why Trini broke her phone. Being a ranger, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence, and they all had the longest warranty on their phones anyway.

"What's up?" Trini prodded, wanting to stay hurt and angry but unable to because it was _Kim_.

"So like…" Kim started, sounding shy but excited. "Jason and I kissed, right? Or maybe made out is a better way to define what happened," she added as an afterthought, a small smile on her lips.

Trini smiled tightly, trying to ignore the burning feeling in her throat and the insistent pounding of her heart on her ribcage, as if it was trying to break out. She swallowed thickly. "Yeah, and?"

Kim's smile fell a little, but she continued anyway, "and… he's kind of a shitty kisser?" She inhaled sharply, her eyes wide. "Or maybe I am? I don't know, it just felt awkward!"

Trini felt a savage guilty pleasure go through her after hearing the news of Jason's poor kissing abilities. Despite herself, she cleared her throat to speak. "I'm lost. Where's the favour in this?"

"Right yeah," Kim nodded to herself, wringing her hands together in nervous habit. If Trini's attention wasn't fully on her before, it was now. Kim didn't _do_ nervous. Excited, maybe, but not _nervous_.

"I was just wondering if you could tell me if I'm a good kisser?" Kim whispered, uncharacteristically shy.

Trini's blood ran cold. Did Kim just ask if she could kiss her?

"So, um," Kim coughed, continuing awkwardly, "can I kiss you, Trini?"

Trini knew that she shouldn't get her hopes up, that even if Kim didn't start laughing this off in the next five seconds, or brush it off as some kind of cruel joke, she couldn't take Kim seriously, even if she meant it. She was too impulsive, too _oblivious_ to realize what she was really asking for. Too _naive_ to realize that she'd somehow made Trini want to rip off her skin only to stitch it back together if it meant she wouldn't fall apart anymore.

"What about Jason?"

"He and I aren't together yet, so I figured I could only do this now before we actually became official," Kim rambled, trying to explain herself. "Besides, you and I are totally platonic, like there's no way we could be attracted to each other, so it should be fine."

Trini internally frowned. Her anger at Kim suddenly flared up. It was so inconsiderate and selfish of Kim to ask for this, let alone think of it. So Trini took a note from the pink ranger's book, and with absolutely zero impulse control, she replied.

"Okay."

" _Okay_?" Kim asked, as if she couldn't believe Trini had actually agreed to her dumb plan.

"Yeah, okay," Trini repeated again, trying to hide her impatience. "Hurry up, before I change my mind."

Kim moved across the room quickly, and sat beside Trini on the bed.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Kim whispered.

Instead of replying, Trini leaned in closer. She had to remind herself to not be so tense, it was just Kim, AKA the girl she was hopelessly in love with.

Before she could talk herself out of it, Kim closed the distance between the two of them, and Trini tried not to let herself be too stiff, or get too carried away.

It started slow, Kim's lips not tasting at all like her passion fruit lip balm that Trini found herself borrowing every other day, but like _somebody_ _else_. Trini pushed herself away then, expecting the kiss to be short.

But then Kim followed Trini's movement, pushing her back onto the bed while Kim climbed on top of her. She leaned on her elbows, her legs bracketing Trini's hips as she deepened the kiss further.

Trini kissed her back, not too enthusiastically, but also not so she was a dead body. If she had to describe the way she was kissing Kim, the best word would probably be _politely_.

But then Kim _growled_ , and suddenly Trini found her hands pinned up over her head by Kim's, her hips rolling into Trini's abs in honest fervour.

And then she couldn't take it anymore, Trini couldn't bite back the moan that'd been trying to escape her, and just like that, Kim ceased her movements. The grip on Trini's wrist weakened, and Kim's warm body left Trini's.

"I have to go," Kim said, her voice sounding far.

"Kim-?" Trini questioned, sitting up to see Kim halfway out the window.

"Can you not mention this to the guys?" Kim asked, one leg out the window. " _Especially_ not Jason?"

Trini swallowed thickly, trying to extinguish the burning in her throat. "Yeah, no problem," she said, her voice cracking.

And then Kim was gone.

In hindsight, Kim really should've seen it coming. Trini was a hurricane, a thunderstorm- the precipice of natural disasters. She broke everything she touched. It was only a matter of time before she broke Kim.

She ran a finger delicately over her bruised lips one last time, before shutting her eyes, trying to dream of _red_ instead of _yellow._


End file.
